Clacton By-Election 2026 · Thursday 13 August

The Manifesto

Twenty pledges. One bin. Read it and Weeley.

The document

After three weeks of “Bear with me, humans!”, it landed. On Monday 27 July 2026, Count Binface published his full manifesto for the Clacton by-election — twenty numbered pledges, released with the words:30

“Here it is. My manifesto for the 2026 Clacton By-Election. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Join me, clean up Clacton and let’s make 13th August Bin Day! #VoteBinface #VoteyMcVoteface #YesWeTinCan”

— Count Binface on X, 27 July 202630
The 2026 Clacton ManifestoPublished 27 July 202630,31,32
  1. “I will boost the region’s economy, prestige and fame.”
  2. “I will cut your taxes, and raise everyone else’s.” The oldest promise in politics, finally said out loud.
  3. “Bus fares to be capped at £1.99, and 99 Flake ice-creams to cost no more than 99p.” The 99p Flake cap polls at 69% national support. Genuinely. Ipsos asked.26
  4. “I promise to spend more time in Clacton-on-Sea than in Washington DC, and to champion the area.” Aimed at absolutely no one in particular.
  5. “MPs who resign mid-parliament to be barred from the resulting by-election.” Applied retroactively, this pledge would have interesting consequences for this very ballot.
  6. “MPs who change party mid-parliament to be forced to face a by-election.”
  7. “I pledge to build at least one affordable house.” The genuinely serious one — standing since his declaration day.10
  8. “Arcade grabber games to be made fairer so players actually have a chance to win.”
  9. “Oil and gas companies to pay for solar panels for everyone. (From Jack, aged 10)” Policy consultant Jack is ten.
  10. “Regeneration of Walton Pier so it is just as great as Clacton Pier.”
  11. “A windfall tax on cosy crime novels written (or ‘written’) by celebrities.”
  12. “Potholes to be filled, using copies of the 2024 Labour Party Manifesto.”
  13. “Parliament to be moved to my new Bin HQ, in Weeley, while the Palace of Westminster is restored.” Weeley. Wheelie. The village has waited its whole life for this.
  14. “People who drive past Clacton station with annoyingly loud exhausts to lose their licence.”
  15. “I will not accept £5 million gifts from crypto billionaires (on Earth).” “(On Earth)” is doing a lot of work here.
  16. “A referendum on whether Pluto should regain its planet status.”
  17. “The hand-dryer in the gents’ toilet at the Great Himalayas restaurant, Southport, to be moved to a more sensible position.” Handdryergate II. The Crown & Treaty was only the beginning.2
  18. “Wayne Rooney to be new expert summariser for the BBC at Eurovision.”
  19. “Count Binface to represent the UK at Eurovision 2027, with Clacton hosting Eurovision 2028.”
  20. “I stand by my past manifestos: Ceefax, speakerphones, nationalising Adele, renaming HS2 ‘FFS1’, the hand-dryer at the Crown & Treaty, I’ve got it covered.” The Ceefax pledge has now been on the books since 2017.3

Make 13th August Bin Day

Text as transcribed from the manifesto by Essex County News and the British Comedy Guide, which agree throughout except on punctuation — where they differ, we follow the spelling consistent with his own previous manifestos (hence “FFS1”).31,32 His own website, checked 2 August, announces the manifesto in banner type — then still promises the full text “pronto. Bear with me, humans!”1

There is also a twenty-first, verbal pledge. Asked by The i Paper what his first act as an MP would be, he said he would enlarge the door aperture of the House of Commons — the outfit makes him eight feet tall, and he would bang his head entering the chamber.35

Follow the campaign as it unfolds — the full log →
P101 BINFAX SUN 02 AUG 2026

MANIFESTO AT A GLANCE

  • FOR CLACTON £1.99 buses. 99p Flakes. Fairer grabbers. A greater Walton Pier. Quieter exhausts.31
  • FOR THE RIVAL Resign mid-term and you're barred from the by-election. Defect and you face one. No £5m crypto gifts. More Clacton-on-Sea than Washington DC.31
  • FOR EARTH Solar panels on Big Oil's tab (from Jack, aged 10). A Pluto referendum. Eurovision 2027 — and Clacton hosts in 2028.31
  • FOR HISTORY Parliament to sit in Weeley, at the new Bin HQ, while Westminster is restored.31
  • CARRIED OVER Ceefax. Speakerphones. Adele, nationalised. FFS1. The Crown & Treaty dryer. "I've got it covered."31
  • SEEN ELSEWHERE The Monster Raving Loonies' rival "manicfesto" responds with a pledge to ban "intergalactic interference in UK elections". The Count is unmoved.32

100 HOME  102 BALLOT  103 LOG  105 SOURCES

Like what you read?

Registration closed on 28 July and the postal-vote deadline has passed — but you can still apply for a proxy vote until 5pm on Wednesday 5 August, and if you lack photo ID, a free Voter Authority Certificate by the same deadline.22 Polls open 7am–10pm, Thursday 13 August.21

How to vote — GOV.UK →